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sense told me this was the man who had killed my son.
You have all no doubt heard the tale of the cow from Amiens, I crowed.
People looked at one another and shook their heads. We have not, someone
yelled out.Tell us ,jester.
These two peasants had a single denier between them. So to enlarge their
fortune, they decided to buy a cow, and every day they would sell its milk.
Now, as everyone knows, the best cows in the land come from Amiens.
So they went there, and they traded the denier for the best cow they could
find, who yielded lots of milk. And they sold the milk each morning. Soon, one
of them said, `If we can mate this fine cow, we'll have two. We can double our
milk and our money.' So they searched their village and found the finest bull.
Soon, they were going to be rich.
I scanned the room. Everyone seemed to hang on my words. A hundred smiles...
knights, ladies-in-waiting, even the duke himself. I had them. I had their
ears.
The day of the mating, they brought in the bull. First, he tried to mount the
cow from behind, but the cow wiggled away. Then, the bull came at her from the
left, but the cow wiggled its rump to the right. If it came from the right,
the cow wiggled left.
I spotted an attractive lady and went up to her. I smiled and wiggled my own
rump. Just enough to be considered cute. The crowdoohed with delight.
Finally, I said, the peasants threw up their hands in frustration. There was
no way this cow from Amiens would mate. But instead of giving up, they decided
to consult the smartest person in the duchy. A knight of such rare wisdom,
such vision, he knew why all things were as they were.
I noticed Norcross reclining on his elbow, following the tale. I strode up to
him. Someone likeyou , knight, I said.
The crowd cackled. Your story errs there, said Baldwin, laughing, if it's
brains you want.
Page 66
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
So I've heard. I bowed to the duke. But for the purpose of the tale, he'll do.
Norcross's amusement began to sour and he glared at me, red faced.
So the peasants came to this very wise knight and they told him of their
problem with the cow. They moaned, `What must we do?'
The wise knight replied, `You say if the bull tries to mount it this way, it
wiggles left? And from this direction, it wiggles right?'
`Yes!' they cried.
The knight thought it over. `I do not know if I can solve your dilemma,' he
said, `but I know one thing. Your cow is from Amiens, is it not?'
`Yes, yes,' the peasants shouted. `It is indeed from Amiens. How could you
possibly know?'
I turned back to Norcross. I perched on the table next to him. ` Becausemy
wife ,' the knight muttered, `sheis from Amiens as well.'
The hall burst into laughter. The knights, the duke, the ladies. All except
Norcross. Then the vast room echoed with applause.
Baldwin came up and slapped me on the back. You are indeed funny, fool. You
have other jokes like this?
Many, I replied, to punctuate the point, I sprang into a forward flip, then
one backward. The crowd oohed.
They must laugh well in Bor e. You may stay, my new companion. You are hired.
I raised my arms in triumph. The large room echoed with applause. But inside,
I knew I stood inches from the very men I had sworn to kill.
Palimpost, as of this day you are retired, Baldwin declared. Show the new fool
your spot.
Retired? But I have no desire, my liege. Haven't I served you with all my wit?
With what little you have. So you are unretired, then. I grant you a new job.
In the graveyard. See if you can cheer up the audience there.
Chapter 45
TWO DAYS AFTER my arrival, Baldwin announced a great feast at court, with
counts, knights, and other noble-born invited from all over the region. The
duke knew how to waste what had been earned by his poor serfs.
I was instructed by the lord's chamberlain that I would be a main act at the
festivities. Baldwin's wife, the lady Heloise, had heard of my audition and
was eager to see my act.
This would be my first real test!
The day of the gathering, the entire castle bustled with activity. An endless
army of servants wearing their finest uniforms, tunics of the same purple and
white, marched dishware and elaborate candelabras into the great hall.
Minstrels practiced on the lawn. Giant logs were loaded into the hearths. The
luscious aroma of roasting goose, pig, and sheep permeated the castle.
Page 67
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
I spent the day polishing my routine. This was my coming out, my first real
performance. I had to shine, to remain in Baldwin's good graces. I juggled,
twirled my staff, practiced my flips back and forth, went over my tales and
jokes.
Finally, the evening of the feast was at hand. Nervous as a groom, I made my
way to the banquet hall. Four long tables filled the room, each covered in the
finest linen cloth and set with candelabras engraved with the duke's lion
shield.
Arriving guests were greeted with a flourish of horns. I sauntered up to each,
announcing them with playful epithets. His bawdiness, the duke of Loire, and
his lovely niece, er...wife , the lady Kate. It was all meant to trump the
husband and praise his wife, no matter how plain she might be. Everyone played
along.
Only when the room filled did Baldwin and his lady, Heloise, make their
entrance. One glance made it obvious to me that Baldwin had not married for
looks. The couple waded through the room, Baldwin hugging and joking with the
men, Heloise curtsying and receiving lavish praise. They took seats at the
head of the largest table.
When their guests were all seated, Baldwin stood and raised a goblet. Welcome, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl fopke.keep.pl
sense told me this was the man who had killed my son.
You have all no doubt heard the tale of the cow from Amiens, I crowed.
People looked at one another and shook their heads. We have not, someone
yelled out.Tell us ,jester.
These two peasants had a single denier between them. So to enlarge their
fortune, they decided to buy a cow, and every day they would sell its milk.
Now, as everyone knows, the best cows in the land come from Amiens.
So they went there, and they traded the denier for the best cow they could
find, who yielded lots of milk. And they sold the milk each morning. Soon, one
of them said, `If we can mate this fine cow, we'll have two. We can double our
milk and our money.' So they searched their village and found the finest bull.
Soon, they were going to be rich.
I scanned the room. Everyone seemed to hang on my words. A hundred smiles...
knights, ladies-in-waiting, even the duke himself. I had them. I had their
ears.
The day of the mating, they brought in the bull. First, he tried to mount the
cow from behind, but the cow wiggled away. Then, the bull came at her from the
left, but the cow wiggled its rump to the right. If it came from the right,
the cow wiggled left.
I spotted an attractive lady and went up to her. I smiled and wiggled my own
rump. Just enough to be considered cute. The crowdoohed with delight.
Finally, I said, the peasants threw up their hands in frustration. There was
no way this cow from Amiens would mate. But instead of giving up, they decided
to consult the smartest person in the duchy. A knight of such rare wisdom,
such vision, he knew why all things were as they were.
I noticed Norcross reclining on his elbow, following the tale. I strode up to
him. Someone likeyou , knight, I said.
The crowd cackled. Your story errs there, said Baldwin, laughing, if it's
brains you want.
Page 66
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
So I've heard. I bowed to the duke. But for the purpose of the tale, he'll do.
Norcross's amusement began to sour and he glared at me, red faced.
So the peasants came to this very wise knight and they told him of their
problem with the cow. They moaned, `What must we do?'
The wise knight replied, `You say if the bull tries to mount it this way, it
wiggles left? And from this direction, it wiggles right?'
`Yes!' they cried.
The knight thought it over. `I do not know if I can solve your dilemma,' he
said, `but I know one thing. Your cow is from Amiens, is it not?'
`Yes, yes,' the peasants shouted. `It is indeed from Amiens. How could you
possibly know?'
I turned back to Norcross. I perched on the table next to him. ` Becausemy
wife ,' the knight muttered, `sheis from Amiens as well.'
The hall burst into laughter. The knights, the duke, the ladies. All except
Norcross. Then the vast room echoed with applause.
Baldwin came up and slapped me on the back. You are indeed funny, fool. You
have other jokes like this?
Many, I replied, to punctuate the point, I sprang into a forward flip, then
one backward. The crowd oohed.
They must laugh well in Bor e. You may stay, my new companion. You are hired.
I raised my arms in triumph. The large room echoed with applause. But inside,
I knew I stood inches from the very men I had sworn to kill.
Palimpost, as of this day you are retired, Baldwin declared. Show the new fool
your spot.
Retired? But I have no desire, my liege. Haven't I served you with all my wit?
With what little you have. So you are unretired, then. I grant you a new job.
In the graveyard. See if you can cheer up the audience there.
Chapter 45
TWO DAYS AFTER my arrival, Baldwin announced a great feast at court, with
counts, knights, and other noble-born invited from all over the region. The
duke knew how to waste what had been earned by his poor serfs.
I was instructed by the lord's chamberlain that I would be a main act at the
festivities. Baldwin's wife, the lady Heloise, had heard of my audition and
was eager to see my act.
This would be my first real test!
The day of the gathering, the entire castle bustled with activity. An endless
army of servants wearing their finest uniforms, tunics of the same purple and
white, marched dishware and elaborate candelabras into the great hall.
Minstrels practiced on the lawn. Giant logs were loaded into the hearths. The
luscious aroma of roasting goose, pig, and sheep permeated the castle.
Page 67
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
I spent the day polishing my routine. This was my coming out, my first real
performance. I had to shine, to remain in Baldwin's good graces. I juggled,
twirled my staff, practiced my flips back and forth, went over my tales and
jokes.
Finally, the evening of the feast was at hand. Nervous as a groom, I made my
way to the banquet hall. Four long tables filled the room, each covered in the
finest linen cloth and set with candelabras engraved with the duke's lion
shield.
Arriving guests were greeted with a flourish of horns. I sauntered up to each,
announcing them with playful epithets. His bawdiness, the duke of Loire, and
his lovely niece, er...wife , the lady Kate. It was all meant to trump the
husband and praise his wife, no matter how plain she might be. Everyone played
along.
Only when the room filled did Baldwin and his lady, Heloise, make their
entrance. One glance made it obvious to me that Baldwin had not married for
looks. The couple waded through the room, Baldwin hugging and joking with the
men, Heloise curtsying and receiving lavish praise. They took seats at the
head of the largest table.
When their guests were all seated, Baldwin stood and raised a goblet. Welcome, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]