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possible way by committing such an act. What& just occurred& should
be a loving act between two people who& l-love each other. I wanted to
punish someone, most probably you, I don t know. I am sorry. Kitty
gulped back a sob.  Try not to think too badly of me. She turned away.
 Kit! Kit, please, it doesn t have to be this way& 
Miles s begging followed her as she ran, stumbling through the bush.
Tears clouded her vision. Blind, she tripped, fell and staggered to her feet
again. Her life was over. Nothing ever again would matter or be normal.
She had killed every vestige of self-respect.
A sob broke from her throat as Ben s handsome face appeared in the
shadows.  Ben? Ben, help me&  Her whisper lingered in the growing
darkness. She reached out to the shimmering image before her, but it
vanished at her fingertips and she fell to the ground.  Please, Ben, my
love, forgive me&  Her cries echoed around, bouncing off the trees,
taunting her.
 I m so sorry, Ben. It should have been you. It is you I love. Oh, Ben.
Kitty s cries died to whimpers and she sat hugging herself.  Why did you
leave me? I cannot do it without you.
-165-
Anne Whitfield
Later, Connie found her. She brought a thick woolen shawl, which
she quickly wrapped about Kitty s shoulders before gathering the
shredded bodice together, the corset gone.  Nay, my lass, what am I ter
do with you? Connie hugged her tight.
Kitty hiccupped and stared out into space.  I did the most awful
thing. She looked up in anguish at Connie.  I am so ashamed.
 Nay, lass. Sometimes nature  as a way of tekken control an there s
nowt you can do about it.
 I acted worse than a whore  Hastily, Kitty jerked away and vomited
into the grass. Connie held her hair back from her face and made
soothing sounds. Finally, unable to retch any more, she leant back
against Connie and wept quietly in her arms.
 That s better, lass. You re best t cry an get it done with. You keep
things bottled up inside yourself for too long. Let it out, lass, let it out.
It ll do you good.
-166-
Kitty McKenzie s Land
Chapter Eleven
Miles stared into the flames, swirling the golden contents of his
brandy glass. It was late and his family had retired. Outside, the rain
lashed at the windows, matching his mood. He was being pathetic he
knew, but he couldn t help himself. The more he dwelled on what
happened that dreadful day by the creek the worse he felt. For three
weeks he had wanted, ached, to go to her and tell her he was sorry, but
he simply could not.
For the first time in his life, he was running away from something.
He had never thought of himself as a coward, but to see the
condemnation on her face would be a blow to his very soul. Why hadn t
he kept a cool head? Why hadn t he just held her and helped her? No,
not he, Miles Grayson. He took what he wanted because he knew she
would never give it normally, would never ask anything from him. Now,
he was ashamed of his actions.
Miles groaned and took another swallow of his drink. Images of her,
wild, untamed and demanding, tormented him. The thought of her taut
body, silken skin and the searing heat of her kisses all conspired to
damn him. His body responded to his wayward thoughts and he groaned
again. He suffered the torments of Hell, and knew he deserved it. With a
heavy sigh, he swallowed the last of his brandy and resisted the urge to
throw the glass into the fireplace.
 Want another one? Ronald stepped into the room.  I came for a
book, but you look as though you need company.
 I will, thank you. A large one.
-167-
Anne Whitfield
Ronald poured brandy into two balloon glasses and gave one to Miles
before sitting on a leather wing-backed chair opposite.  Do you want to
share what is on your mind, son?
 What makes you think I have something on my mind?
 Because I have known you all your life and I know when you are
troubled. Besides, something has been making you get drunk every night
for the last few weeks.
 It is nothing, Father.
 Very well. Ronald shrugged.  Of course, it could be a woman?
 It is nothing.
 Miles, a blind man can see both of my sons are after the same
woman. Campbell spends nearly all his time over at the McKenzie
property and waxes lyrical about the charms of the lovely Miss Kitty, and
every time he does so, you look fit to kill.
At that moment, Campbell strode into the room.  There you are. I
thought everyone had gone to bed. He plopped onto the sofa between the
two chairs.
Ronald frowned.  Where did you get to today? You missed dinner.
You know how your mother likes everyone to be around the dinner
table.
 I spent the afternoon at the McKenzie property. I got caught in the
rain and Kitty made me stay for tea. Campbell smiled, his high regard
for Kitty very evident.
 It s Kitty now, is it? Miles slurred at his brother.  What happened to
Miss McKenzie? A slow maddening anger eroded Mile s senses at the
idea of his brother spending more and more time in Kitty s company
when he was unable to.
 She gave me permission to call her by her first name.
 Did you tell her that we are leaving at the weekend? Ronald
interrupted.
-168-
Kitty McKenzie s Land
 Yes, Father, I did. Though, I did ask her to come to Bathurst and
visit us when she has the time. She said she would. Campbell beamed
at them.
 That will be nice, son. Your mother thinks greatly of Miss McKenzie.
Best go up to bed now, yes?
Miles stood, waving his glass at his brother.  You should not be
taking her away from her duties. Her property needs a great deal of
attention and she cannot give it if she is away all the time.
 Rubbish man. She s a lady not a farmhand, Campbell scoffed.  She
has two good men to work it. She needs to be able to get away from the
demands and pressure of the place once in a while.
 How would you bloody know? You have never done a hard day s
work in your life! You would rather give the orders and sit back and
watch the work being done.
Campbell jumped to his feet.  What the hell would you know about
what I do back home? You are never there. You left us years ago. It
doesn t make a man, a man, just because he gets dirty along side his
workers. You think you are so great because you have done well here, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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