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really claim. He d deal with whatever the hell was going on when he arrived.
She needed the distraction. Megan lay in the sun, of the water soothing
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jangled nerves as she tried to nap. Unsuccessfully.
She d never had trouble sleeping before but damn if she wasn t resorting to
the herbal teas her grandmother made to try and get some rest. She missed him
and his calls didn t help her resolve to let him go. Damn it.
Her muscles hurt, her head hurt and she wanted him. Shesmell him on her skin,
to feel him against her body at night. Shemake him pancakes and bacon in the
mornings and listen to the rumble of his voice through the wall of his chest
as she sat snuggled against him.
It was unfair, that s what it was. Unfair. Why couldn t he love her enough? He
was so incredible, so sexy and intelligent and truly caring but he just
couldn t give over enough.
Gah! Speaking of unfair, that s what she was being. She knew it was way more
complicated than him not loving her enough. In truth, her heart hurt for him
because he was raised to fear and hate what he was. Where she was raised to
love herself and her roots, he was raised to be ashamed. It was a wonder he
was as strong and good a man as he was after the job his mother did on him.
And his father too, she supposed. Her father went on runs with her once every
two weeks, just to be with her. His father, from what she, had to hide his
behavior as a wolf, if he ran at all.
It was unimaginable to her, to be estranged from your own wolf, your identity!
To not be close to your family. To not have the comfort of a Pack. She wanted
that for Shane, knew it would help heal some of his hurts but he was afraid.
She d been with Adam the night before. He d listened to her cry, handed her
tissues and at the end, he d told her she had to make some choices about where
she planned to go.
 You can keep this up and slowly fade away. You can fight for him, force him
to see what he s missing. Or you can let go, accept he won t ever come to you
and move on. I m here for you no matter what, I love you. But you cannot go on
this way. He d kissed her on the top of her head, tucked her hair behind her
ear and had gone.
His words echoed in her head as she pondered her options for the millionth
time but just could not truly consider letting go.
 You re thinking about him again.
She cracked an eye open to find Nina leaning down, holding out a glass of iced
tea.
 What of it? Are you the thought patrol?
 Don t try to out-bitch the master. Nina stretched out next to her on a
chaise lounge.  Just because you saved my life a few dozen times doesn t give
you the right to be snippy with me.
Megan rolled her eyes and sipped her tea.  Living with your bitchy ass has
given me a lifetime pass. I can t believe you told him I was at the coast with
Adam.
 Look, okay yeah so I ll give you the living with me means you can be snippy
point. Like a thousand times more than you are. Thank God you re the calm
Warden, that s all I can say. Well no, Nina laughed,  I can say loads more,
but you know what I mean. Anyhoodle, he needed to realize he could lose you.
You have an Anchor. Adam would love to step into Shane s place. Anyway, you re
at poolside with me, close enough. Your man needs to suck it up and deal. Good
lord, look at you! If I was into girls I d be all over you and stuff.
Megan choked on her tea a moment.  Um, thanks. Back atcha. But Adam isn t like
that! And also, you know he could be here now, Shane that is, and he s not. So
apparently he wasn t that shaken up by the idea of me canoodling with Adam at
the shore.
 Canoodling is such a weird word. Who made that shit up anyway?
 Focus! Everyone keeps saying stuff about Adam and it s pissing me off. He has
never made a single romantic advance toward me. He has encouraged me over and
over to fight for Shane. He s an honorable wolf and he s my friend. She
growled and took a sip of her tea.  Anyway, you said anyhoodle, that s sort of
a connected term in some sense isn t it?
 Now who needs to focus?
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She laughed.  You re a bad influence on me. Don t you have a husband to
torment or?
 He s off with Gabby and your dad. Daddy and Grandpa all day long, she s going
to be hell to get to bed tonight. Hey, let s go out orso I don t have to do
it. Nina grabbed her hand and squeezed and that meant so much. Nina knew her
so well, knew how tormented she was and was there for her.
 I m having dinner with Adam at The Dahlia Lounge. Come with us. The whole
gang will be there. Then Hiro can be on Gabby duty with Lex and my dad.
 Okay. Let s go now so Lex can t give me those damned eyes of his. You know
the ones that resulted in Gabby s existence to begin with.
 Ew.
 Don t knock it. Hey, let s call Layla too. Come on, Megan, she wants you to
confide in her. She feels so lost right now.
Megan got up and pulled her T-shirt on and slid into her sandals.  Fine.
 You two are both stupid. She loves you. Nina got up and followed her through
the house, pausing to call Lex and tell him going to dinner.
 I never said she didn t love me. Again with all that assumption. Lay and I
talk every day I ll have you know. She and I are fine, we worked through this
mess, or the best we could. And this time when you borrow my stuff you have to
give it back.
 You love my quirky ways. Admit it. Nina smirked as she belted in and Megan
pulled down the long drive.
 I admit no such thing. You stretch out my shoes, your child gets cereal bar
gunk on my clothes and there are so many cheerios and goldfish in my seats I
could live for a week if I got stranded. Your husband has put me in charge of
your safety and you re a magnet for trouble. You re unbearably nosy, you have
horrible taste in music and you eat marshmallow Peeps, which are disgusting.
 Like I said, you love my quirky ways. And all the more Peeps for me, bitch.
Shut up with the whining now so I can call Layla.
Nina dialed and made arrangements while Megan tried to not think about any of
this shit and failed.
Chapter Eleven
Tired but still running on the adrenaline of finally making a decision, Shane
pulled into the driveway. Her car was there and when he opened the door, he
heard the low rumble of music from inside.
On the porch, his bag slipped from his fingers as he caught sight of her,
curled up in a chair, looking out her back window. Ani DiFranco s  Grey
played on her stereo and the immense wall of her sadness swept him up and
nearly knocked him to his knees.
He whispered her name and she turned toward the front window next to her door
and saw him. Her eyes were reddened and he knew he was the reason.
She shook her head and he tapped three times.  Please, please open the door.
She stood and his heart slowed a moment as he took in how bad she looked. Her
eyes were swollen, and dark smudges marked just below. Still, she was the most
thing he d ever seen.
 Please.
She took a deep breath and moved to the door, standing in it to block his
access.
 What are you doing here? Tears thickened her voice, cut to his heart, and
his own blurred his vision just a moment.
If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the
world?
The track changed from Ani to Snow Patrol.
 It s like the mixtape of our relationship. He ate up every detail of her
face, even the tears.
 I can t see you, Shane. It s too much. Don t make me tell you to leave again. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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