[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
copy-editing was. It seems to be easy for some to sit on the sidelines
and second-guess the one who is doing the work, using uncouth
language, as we shall see here. Now I am the one second-guessing
them and believe me, it's a pleasure!
One other thing: though there are a number of notes called out here,
there were many more on the manuscript. Not one page escaped
unscathed. I have merely made a sampling of the juicier ones, to avoid
becoming unduly tedious. The situation was in fact more extreme
than this presentation shows. Few, if any, of my original sentences
were actually published in pristine form.
Remember, in the Introduction, I mentioned that Editor had asked
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Click here to buy
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for a Prologue, Epilogue, and some technical material. I don't feel any
of that is necessary, so I am running none of it in the novel proper.
But for those who are interested, here is the Prologue, which did
appear in the published version of the novel:
A man performed an experiment on white mice. A few pairs were
given the freedom of a large, well-appointed cage. The climate was
maintained at a pleasant level for the species; there were no
predators and no diseases or natural hazards, and food and water
were limitless. The mice were left to their own devices in this
simulated paradise, while the man, like a beneficent but aloof God,
watched.
The mice bred. Soon the few were many, and the many became a
dense throng. Yet there was still food for all; only the space was
limited. With the increasing press of bodies, the mice became
irritable and asocial, fighting with each other over trifles. Some were
neurotic; others ceased activity and just lay like vegetables. Babies
were neglected, left to fend for themselves in an increasingly violent
situation. Many were trampled to death, and those that survived were
not sweet and gentle. Paradise had become hellish.
What had happened? The basic problem seemed to be the man's
interference with the natural order. Mice depend on certain selective
forces for the overall health of their species. Predators constantly cull
the weak or slow or stupid or old or merely unlucky. Disease thins the
population. On occasion starvation wipes out large numbers. The
mice must breed prolifically in order to survive these hazards. All
these killers are cruel on an individual basis but not as cruel as the
alternative of overbreeding without concurrent elimination of the
surplus or expansion of the living area.
A mouse, looking at Earth as a planetary cage, might see distressing
parallels to man's present condition. The human population of our
world has been increasing phenomenally but its resources are being
exhausted, and the habitable area is limited. We show the signs of the
approaching end, as war and crime, disillusion and suicide and
juvenile wildness increase. Already segments of the world's
population are starving, and the threat of nuclear or biologic
holocaust hangs over us all.
We cannot continue this way. The day of reckoning is inevitable, and
it is not heaven but hell-on-Earth we face.
Unless there were some other avenue. Suppose it were possible for
man to be freed from his cage, so that he could emigrate painlessly to
other worlds?
A remarkable breakthrough occurs. This is instant matter
a
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T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
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transmission to other habitable planets. Suddenly the cage has been
sprung, and man's great adventure commences...
[back]
2. Red penned in the margin of the manuscript, "Rewrite the entire
opening" and "Describe the participants." Accordingly, Writer did so,
and here are the first three paragraphs as the novel was published:
As the drama on the giant screen in front of him worked its labored
way into one of the obligatory love scenes, Scot's arm almost
automatically tightened around the shoulders of the girl beside him.
Instead of responding by leaning against him, however, she wriggled
her shoulders in annoyance.
"Stop it, Scot," she said. "I came to see the movie, not to experience
it."
Scot relaxed his grip in mild irritation. Fanny was a lovely girl, but she
did have this evasive nature. She resented any distractions from
whatever occupied her attention at the moment. To be fair, he
conceded this did have its compensations; when she made love, she
devoted herself to the act with the same single-minded purpose she
now displayed in watching the screen. But Scot wasn't in much of a
mood for being fair, so he settled back under the steering wheel in
annoyance.
Very well, back to my comment: Writer did a decent job here,
generally, but he changed my characterization of the girl. Instead of
being a "don't paw me!" type she became an "everything in its time"
type, who does make love outside of marriage. If I were young and [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl fopke.keep.pl
copy-editing was. It seems to be easy for some to sit on the sidelines
and second-guess the one who is doing the work, using uncouth
language, as we shall see here. Now I am the one second-guessing
them and believe me, it's a pleasure!
One other thing: though there are a number of notes called out here,
there were many more on the manuscript. Not one page escaped
unscathed. I have merely made a sampling of the juicier ones, to avoid
becoming unduly tedious. The situation was in fact more extreme
than this presentation shows. Few, if any, of my original sentences
were actually published in pristine form.
Remember, in the Introduction, I mentioned that Editor had asked
a
a
T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
m
m
w
w
o
o
w
w
c
c
.
.
.
.
A
A
Y
Y
B
B
Y
Y
B
B
r r
for a Prologue, Epilogue, and some technical material. I don't feel any
of that is necessary, so I am running none of it in the novel proper.
But for those who are interested, here is the Prologue, which did
appear in the published version of the novel:
A man performed an experiment on white mice. A few pairs were
given the freedom of a large, well-appointed cage. The climate was
maintained at a pleasant level for the species; there were no
predators and no diseases or natural hazards, and food and water
were limitless. The mice were left to their own devices in this
simulated paradise, while the man, like a beneficent but aloof God,
watched.
The mice bred. Soon the few were many, and the many became a
dense throng. Yet there was still food for all; only the space was
limited. With the increasing press of bodies, the mice became
irritable and asocial, fighting with each other over trifles. Some were
neurotic; others ceased activity and just lay like vegetables. Babies
were neglected, left to fend for themselves in an increasingly violent
situation. Many were trampled to death, and those that survived were
not sweet and gentle. Paradise had become hellish.
What had happened? The basic problem seemed to be the man's
interference with the natural order. Mice depend on certain selective
forces for the overall health of their species. Predators constantly cull
the weak or slow or stupid or old or merely unlucky. Disease thins the
population. On occasion starvation wipes out large numbers. The
mice must breed prolifically in order to survive these hazards. All
these killers are cruel on an individual basis but not as cruel as the
alternative of overbreeding without concurrent elimination of the
surplus or expansion of the living area.
A mouse, looking at Earth as a planetary cage, might see distressing
parallels to man's present condition. The human population of our
world has been increasing phenomenally but its resources are being
exhausted, and the habitable area is limited. We show the signs of the
approaching end, as war and crime, disillusion and suicide and
juvenile wildness increase. Already segments of the world's
population are starving, and the threat of nuclear or biologic
holocaust hangs over us all.
We cannot continue this way. The day of reckoning is inevitable, and
it is not heaven but hell-on-Earth we face.
Unless there were some other avenue. Suppose it were possible for
man to be freed from his cage, so that he could emigrate painlessly to
other worlds?
A remarkable breakthrough occurs. This is instant matter
a
a
T
T
n
n
s
s
F
F
f
f
o
o
D
D
r
r
P
P
m
m
Y
Y
e
e
Y
Y
r
r
B
B
2
2
.
.
B
B
A
A
Click here to buy
Click here to buy
w
w
m
m
w
w
o
o
w
w
c
c
.
.
.
.
A
A
Y
Y
B
B
Y
Y
B
B
r r
transmission to other habitable planets. Suddenly the cage has been
sprung, and man's great adventure commences...
[back]
2. Red penned in the margin of the manuscript, "Rewrite the entire
opening" and "Describe the participants." Accordingly, Writer did so,
and here are the first three paragraphs as the novel was published:
As the drama on the giant screen in front of him worked its labored
way into one of the obligatory love scenes, Scot's arm almost
automatically tightened around the shoulders of the girl beside him.
Instead of responding by leaning against him, however, she wriggled
her shoulders in annoyance.
"Stop it, Scot," she said. "I came to see the movie, not to experience
it."
Scot relaxed his grip in mild irritation. Fanny was a lovely girl, but she
did have this evasive nature. She resented any distractions from
whatever occupied her attention at the moment. To be fair, he
conceded this did have its compensations; when she made love, she
devoted herself to the act with the same single-minded purpose she
now displayed in watching the screen. But Scot wasn't in much of a
mood for being fair, so he settled back under the steering wheel in
annoyance.
Very well, back to my comment: Writer did a decent job here,
generally, but he changed my characterization of the girl. Instead of
being a "don't paw me!" type she became an "everything in its time"
type, who does make love outside of marriage. If I were young and [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]