[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Since we have been conditioned that we must show that
we care, we are easily manipulated by these guilt
phrases And,
if
these phrases don’t work, we can
always resort to other tactics such as the silent
treatment,
refusal
of
sex,
hurt
feelings,
anger,
tears or tantrums.
Another tactic is to use guilt to punish our partners
for behaviors that we feel are inconsistent with our
values and beliefs. We bring up past transgressions
and remind them of how “wrong” they were and how they
disappointed us and let us down. As long as we can
keep this guilt game going, we can manipulate them
into doing what we want. When they do not live up to
our beliefs, expectations and values, we use guilt to
“set them right.”
These are but a few of the ways we
use guilt in a love relationship.
SOCIETY-INSPIRED GUILT
58
This starts in school when you fail to please your
teacher.
You
are
made
to
feel
guilty
about
your
behavior
by
being
told
that
you
could
have
done
better
or
that
you
have
let
your
teacher
down.
Without getting to the root of the problem - the
student’s faulty Awareness - teacher-inspired guilt
makes less work for the teacher and is an effective
means of control.
Our prison system
is
an excellent
example of the
guilt theory in action. If you go against society’s
moral code, you are punished by confinement in an
institution. During this time, you are supposed to
feel guilty for what you have done. The worse the
crime, the longer you have to feel guilty. You are
then released without the real problem – your faulty
Awareness, specifically your poor self-esteem – being
corrected. The end result is that most prisoners end
up back in prison after committing another crime.
Guilt feelings over social behavior condition you to
worry about what others say or think of your actions.
This is why etiquette is so strongly adhered to. To
most people, it is a life and death matter, which
side of the plate to place the fork!
We
have
become
so
concerned
about
other
people’s
opinions or being politically correct, that we have
monitored everything we say and do so that we don’t
offend anyone.
SEXUAL GUILT
Most people experience sexual guilt. The root cause
of sexual guilt is religion. Religion has decided
what forms of sexual expression are “good” or “bad,”
“natural” or “sinful”. These moral value judgments
have been passed on from generation to generation
like a contagious disease.
If
your
value system
included any
form of sexual
expression
that
was
considered
“morally
unacceptable”;
you
were
made
to
feel
guilty
and
59
shameful. Things like masturbation, premarital sex,
pornography,
homosexuality;
abortion
and
the
like
were all “bad” and “sinful.” The result is that most
people
have
a
variety
of
sexual
hang-ups
and
repressed feelings of guilt.
Conditioned since childhood on the evils of sex, it
is impossible for the average person to enjoy certain
forms of sexual pleasure without a sense of guilt.
This will not change until we learn this valuable and
basic lesson: There is no need to feel guilty about
any form of sexual expression which is within one’s
own value system and does not physically harm another
person. More importantly, it is neither, “right” or
“wrong” regardless of what other people say or think.
Keep in mind that guilt is nothing more than a value
judgment
placed
upon
us
by
an
outside
authority
figure.
RELIGIOUS GUILT
Religion has done more than its share to develop and
instill deep-seated guilt feelings. Indeed, it may
well take credit for the Original Sin of Guilt, as
guilt
is
the
means
by
which
religion
keeps
its
followers in line.
Through the mistaken interpretation of perfection,
many religious denominations instill guilt in those
who do not meet their moral value judgments based on
their interpretation of the Scriptures.
They
start with
the premise
that all judgment
is
based on perfection. Perfection, they say, is “good,”
imperfection “bad.” This mistaken interpretation of
perfection has limited comprehension of the word’s
true meaning. If you put ten thousand of the same
objects under a microscope, you would see that no two
are exactly alike.
It is a biological, physiological, psychological and
metaphysical
fact
that
each
entity
is
distinctly
different.
Each
individual
is
an
expression
of
60
and
everything
Twenty men crossing a bridge
Into a village,
Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges?
Into twenty villages…
Some religions, by expecting two people to perceive
God, Truth and the Scriptures in the same way, have
doomed their followers to failure.
Paradoxically, to be “perfect,” you must have some
flaws.
Imperfections are
the means by which you
learn to grow and by which humankind is spurred on to
create. To have no imperfections is to have no need
to develop mentally, emotionally or spiritually. This
means we must allow ourselves the freedom to grow
mentally, emotionally and spiritually untainted by
guilt.
It is difficult for someone who has been programmed
into believing that all sin is “bad” to see value
and, yes, even beauty in sin and error. Religion says
that sin is “bad”, yet few clergymen would deny that
we learn from our mistakes. The difference may well
be whether or not we learn the particular lesson they
wish to teach us!
Some
of
the
world’s
outstanding
achievements
have
come
from
individuals
whose
imperfections
spurred
them
on
to
creative
effort.
If
you
read
the
biography of any great man or woman who has made a
significant contribution to humankind, you will see,
almost without exception, a person with flaws, many
of which society has labeled “sinful.”
Being aware
of this should enable you to put your own guilt into
perspective.
Guilt
is
unnecessary
and
self-
destructive. Having the desire to overcome so-called
“imperfections, sins and mistakes” is sufficient.
61
Creative Intelligence.
Perfection,
else for that matter, is relative.
Wallace Stevens put it this way,
SELF-IMPOSED GUILT
The most destructive form of guilt is that which is
self-imposed. This is guilt we impose on ourselves
when we feel that we have broken our own moral code
or the moral code of society. It originates when we
look at our past behavior and see that we have made
an unwise choice or action. We examine what we did –
whether
it
was
criticizing
others,
stealing,
cheating,
lying,
exaggerating,
breaking
religious
rules or committing any other act we feel is wrong –
in the light of our present value system. In most
cases, the guilt we feel is an attempt to show that
we care and are sorry for our actions. Essentially
what we are doing is whipping ourselves for what we
did and attempting to change history. What we fail to
realize is that the past cannot be changed.
There is a world of difference between feeling guilty
and learning from the past. Going through a self-
inflicted guilt sentence is a neurotic trip you must
stop if you want to develop total self-confidence.
Feeling
guilty
does
not
build
self-confidence.
It
will
only
keep
you
a
prisoner
of
the
past
and
immobilize you in the present. By harboring guilt,
you are escaping the responsibility of living in the
present and moving toward the future.
GUILT ALWAYS BRINGS PUNISHMENT
Guilt always brings punishment. The punishment may
take
many
forms
including
depression,
feelings
of
inadequacy,
lack
of
self-confidence,
poor
self-
esteem, an assortment of physical disorders and the
inability to love others and ourselves. Those who
cannot forgive others and hold resentment in their
hearts are the same people who have never learned to
forgive themselves. They are the guilt-ridden people.
Trying to ignore your mistakes is just as damaging as
holding on to the guilt that they have caused you.
Mistakes should be treated like a speck of dust in
62
the eye. As soon as you identify the problem, don’t
condemn yourself or feel guilty for having it. Just
get rid of it. The sooner you do, the sooner you will [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl fopke.keep.pl
Since we have been conditioned that we must show that
we care, we are easily manipulated by these guilt
phrases And,
if
these phrases don’t work, we can
always resort to other tactics such as the silent
treatment,
refusal
of
sex,
hurt
feelings,
anger,
tears or tantrums.
Another tactic is to use guilt to punish our partners
for behaviors that we feel are inconsistent with our
values and beliefs. We bring up past transgressions
and remind them of how “wrong” they were and how they
disappointed us and let us down. As long as we can
keep this guilt game going, we can manipulate them
into doing what we want. When they do not live up to
our beliefs, expectations and values, we use guilt to
“set them right.”
These are but a few of the ways we
use guilt in a love relationship.
SOCIETY-INSPIRED GUILT
58
This starts in school when you fail to please your
teacher.
You
are
made
to
feel
guilty
about
your
behavior
by
being
told
that
you
could
have
done
better
or
that
you
have
let
your
teacher
down.
Without getting to the root of the problem - the
student’s faulty Awareness - teacher-inspired guilt
makes less work for the teacher and is an effective
means of control.
Our prison system
is
an excellent
example of the
guilt theory in action. If you go against society’s
moral code, you are punished by confinement in an
institution. During this time, you are supposed to
feel guilty for what you have done. The worse the
crime, the longer you have to feel guilty. You are
then released without the real problem – your faulty
Awareness, specifically your poor self-esteem – being
corrected. The end result is that most prisoners end
up back in prison after committing another crime.
Guilt feelings over social behavior condition you to
worry about what others say or think of your actions.
This is why etiquette is so strongly adhered to. To
most people, it is a life and death matter, which
side of the plate to place the fork!
We
have
become
so
concerned
about
other
people’s
opinions or being politically correct, that we have
monitored everything we say and do so that we don’t
offend anyone.
SEXUAL GUILT
Most people experience sexual guilt. The root cause
of sexual guilt is religion. Religion has decided
what forms of sexual expression are “good” or “bad,”
“natural” or “sinful”. These moral value judgments
have been passed on from generation to generation
like a contagious disease.
If
your
value system
included any
form of sexual
expression
that
was
considered
“morally
unacceptable”;
you
were
made
to
feel
guilty
and
59
shameful. Things like masturbation, premarital sex,
pornography,
homosexuality;
abortion
and
the
like
were all “bad” and “sinful.” The result is that most
people
have
a
variety
of
sexual
hang-ups
and
repressed feelings of guilt.
Conditioned since childhood on the evils of sex, it
is impossible for the average person to enjoy certain
forms of sexual pleasure without a sense of guilt.
This will not change until we learn this valuable and
basic lesson: There is no need to feel guilty about
any form of sexual expression which is within one’s
own value system and does not physically harm another
person. More importantly, it is neither, “right” or
“wrong” regardless of what other people say or think.
Keep in mind that guilt is nothing more than a value
judgment
placed
upon
us
by
an
outside
authority
figure.
RELIGIOUS GUILT
Religion has done more than its share to develop and
instill deep-seated guilt feelings. Indeed, it may
well take credit for the Original Sin of Guilt, as
guilt
is
the
means
by
which
religion
keeps
its
followers in line.
Through the mistaken interpretation of perfection,
many religious denominations instill guilt in those
who do not meet their moral value judgments based on
their interpretation of the Scriptures.
They
start with
the premise
that all judgment
is
based on perfection. Perfection, they say, is “good,”
imperfection “bad.” This mistaken interpretation of
perfection has limited comprehension of the word’s
true meaning. If you put ten thousand of the same
objects under a microscope, you would see that no two
are exactly alike.
It is a biological, physiological, psychological and
metaphysical
fact
that
each
entity
is
distinctly
different.
Each
individual
is
an
expression
of
60
and
everything
Twenty men crossing a bridge
Into a village,
Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges?
Into twenty villages…
Some religions, by expecting two people to perceive
God, Truth and the Scriptures in the same way, have
doomed their followers to failure.
Paradoxically, to be “perfect,” you must have some
flaws.
Imperfections are
the means by which you
learn to grow and by which humankind is spurred on to
create. To have no imperfections is to have no need
to develop mentally, emotionally or spiritually. This
means we must allow ourselves the freedom to grow
mentally, emotionally and spiritually untainted by
guilt.
It is difficult for someone who has been programmed
into believing that all sin is “bad” to see value
and, yes, even beauty in sin and error. Religion says
that sin is “bad”, yet few clergymen would deny that
we learn from our mistakes. The difference may well
be whether or not we learn the particular lesson they
wish to teach us!
Some
of
the
world’s
outstanding
achievements
have
come
from
individuals
whose
imperfections
spurred
them
on
to
creative
effort.
If
you
read
the
biography of any great man or woman who has made a
significant contribution to humankind, you will see,
almost without exception, a person with flaws, many
of which society has labeled “sinful.”
Being aware
of this should enable you to put your own guilt into
perspective.
Guilt
is
unnecessary
and
self-
destructive. Having the desire to overcome so-called
“imperfections, sins and mistakes” is sufficient.
61
Creative Intelligence.
Perfection,
else for that matter, is relative.
Wallace Stevens put it this way,
SELF-IMPOSED GUILT
The most destructive form of guilt is that which is
self-imposed. This is guilt we impose on ourselves
when we feel that we have broken our own moral code
or the moral code of society. It originates when we
look at our past behavior and see that we have made
an unwise choice or action. We examine what we did –
whether
it
was
criticizing
others,
stealing,
cheating,
lying,
exaggerating,
breaking
religious
rules or committing any other act we feel is wrong –
in the light of our present value system. In most
cases, the guilt we feel is an attempt to show that
we care and are sorry for our actions. Essentially
what we are doing is whipping ourselves for what we
did and attempting to change history. What we fail to
realize is that the past cannot be changed.
There is a world of difference between feeling guilty
and learning from the past. Going through a self-
inflicted guilt sentence is a neurotic trip you must
stop if you want to develop total self-confidence.
Feeling
guilty
does
not
build
self-confidence.
It
will
only
keep
you
a
prisoner
of
the
past
and
immobilize you in the present. By harboring guilt,
you are escaping the responsibility of living in the
present and moving toward the future.
GUILT ALWAYS BRINGS PUNISHMENT
Guilt always brings punishment. The punishment may
take
many
forms
including
depression,
feelings
of
inadequacy,
lack
of
self-confidence,
poor
self-
esteem, an assortment of physical disorders and the
inability to love others and ourselves. Those who
cannot forgive others and hold resentment in their
hearts are the same people who have never learned to
forgive themselves. They are the guilt-ridden people.
Trying to ignore your mistakes is just as damaging as
holding on to the guilt that they have caused you.
Mistakes should be treated like a speck of dust in
62
the eye. As soon as you identify the problem, don’t
condemn yourself or feel guilty for having it. Just
get rid of it. The sooner you do, the sooner you will [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]