[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Troy pressed a thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose
and squeezed, suddenly overcome with a bone-deep weariness he
hadn t even seen coming.
He could still smell them, could smell their lovemaking despite
the blood that still filled his senses from the fight.
Oh, how he had wanted to be a part of it, how it had pained him to
be on the outside of that house and know what was going on inside
without any recourse except to howl his outrage at the moon.
It wasn t like he could go up to the door, knock, and ask for the
marshal and his guest. He didn t have a reason like Chris had. He
certainly didn t have the gumption of the kid.
Where had it gone? He d been as fearless once when he hadn t
had anything to lose, when he d been desperate for acceptance and
love.
74 Gigi Moore
He remembered how he d wanted to thank Josiah for his kindness
the same way Chris wanted to thank James right and proper. He
remembered how Josiah had gently but firmly turned him down, too.
I m powerful flattered, boy, but I m an old coot, too old for you.
Maybe twenty years ago& Besides, there are rules against what
you re offering. Much as I want to, I cain t, boy. I just cain t&
Now he owned a successful saloon and led the life of a law-
abiding citizen. He d settled down and couldn t remember what it was
like to yearn for somebody so much it turned him inside out the way
Josiah had. He couldn t remember what it had been like to be out on
the road for weeks and months at a time, tracking a quarry that is
when he wasn t quarry himself with no one to answer to but
himself. Back then, he hadn t cared about or valued anything or
anyone more complex than his next bounty or his next meal, so he
hadn t feared losing anything.
He did now. He feared losing everything he had amassed during
and because of his cavalier days. He cared about losing something he
hadn t even gained yet, but it was something he wanted almost as
much as he wanted to go back and change what had happened to his
father.
Troy, tell me what s wrong. Josie put a gentle hand on his arm
and waited.
There s nothing wrong. He patted Josie s hand and gently
removed it from his arm before heading for his room. He hoped she
took his cue and didn t follow.
When he made it to his room unharassed, Troy closed and locked
the door, just to be on the safe side. Fully dressed, he collapsed on the
bed and unwillingly revisited his discussion with Josie.
There was nothing wrong at all except that he was having second
thoughts about his life and his place in the world.
For most of his existence since his parents deaths, all he d
wanted was a place to belong, a place where no one judged him or
Three Men and a Bounty 75
looked at him as if he were a menace or a pervert. He d thought he
found this at Wolf Creek, but now he wondered.
What would happen to everything he d built if he got involved
with Chris or James or both? And who was to say that either man
would willingly risk their own standing to be with him? Would either
of them think the risk they took to be with each other worth the same
risk it took to be with him?
He supposed he wouldn t know anything unless he outright asked
them. The worse that could happen was either man would say no.
What if they didn t? Could he be with them without being honest
about his beast? Would his beast allow him to have a normal
relationship without letting its existence be known?
It hadn t so far, but then he had never been involved with anyone
beyond the time it took him to find his release. He had never been in a
relationship beyond the superficial. He had never found anyone that
made him think about forever. The thought of revealing himself to
two men he wasn t about to kill, but two men that he wanted to make
love to instead, sent a shiver of pure terror through him that he had
never imagined before.
He d thought he d experienced the most paralyzing fear of his life
when he d had to confront Jack with his desire to leave the gang more
than a decade ago. He d done everything he could not to reveal his
animal. Jack, however, had forced his hand. To this day, he
remembered the look of shock on the older man s face, the look of
horror when Troy had finally shifted and stood before Jack, growling
and baring his long canines. Jack let him leave. He d had no choice,
but he hadn t allowed Troy s defection without a fight. Troy bore the
bullet wounds to prove it.
He d licked his injuries, literally, and survived to see another day.
He d moved on.
Had he not been so eager to bury his past and forget the old miner,
Josiah Maynard, he never would have fallen in with the Baird gang.
Troy had been blinded by pain and the loss of what could have been.
76 Gigi Moore
And Jack had come along at just the right time, preying on Troy s
loneliness and pain like the predator he was.
Troy understood all that now, but back then, no one could tell him
that Jack didn t like him just for him, that Jack had less-than-
honorable intentions.
He didn t want to be that man to Chris and knew that if he forced
himself into the middle of what was going on with the kid and the
marshal, he could be seen as the bad guy.
Normally, Troy would have gone out for a run, let his wolf out to
take off the edge, but he d already done that and it hadn t helped. It
had only made things worse.
He needed to be patient and bide his time.
They would come to him.
The wolf inside felt it, and the wolf had never led him astray when
he bothered to listen.
* * * *
The boy jerked awake in his arms, screaming about a wolf coming
to get him.
James clamped a hand over Chris mouth as gently as possible and
whispered soothingly in his ear. He brushed a loose tendril of hair [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl fopke.keep.pl
Troy pressed a thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose
and squeezed, suddenly overcome with a bone-deep weariness he
hadn t even seen coming.
He could still smell them, could smell their lovemaking despite
the blood that still filled his senses from the fight.
Oh, how he had wanted to be a part of it, how it had pained him to
be on the outside of that house and know what was going on inside
without any recourse except to howl his outrage at the moon.
It wasn t like he could go up to the door, knock, and ask for the
marshal and his guest. He didn t have a reason like Chris had. He
certainly didn t have the gumption of the kid.
Where had it gone? He d been as fearless once when he hadn t
had anything to lose, when he d been desperate for acceptance and
love.
74 Gigi Moore
He remembered how he d wanted to thank Josiah for his kindness
the same way Chris wanted to thank James right and proper. He
remembered how Josiah had gently but firmly turned him down, too.
I m powerful flattered, boy, but I m an old coot, too old for you.
Maybe twenty years ago& Besides, there are rules against what
you re offering. Much as I want to, I cain t, boy. I just cain t&
Now he owned a successful saloon and led the life of a law-
abiding citizen. He d settled down and couldn t remember what it was
like to yearn for somebody so much it turned him inside out the way
Josiah had. He couldn t remember what it had been like to be out on
the road for weeks and months at a time, tracking a quarry that is
when he wasn t quarry himself with no one to answer to but
himself. Back then, he hadn t cared about or valued anything or
anyone more complex than his next bounty or his next meal, so he
hadn t feared losing anything.
He did now. He feared losing everything he had amassed during
and because of his cavalier days. He cared about losing something he
hadn t even gained yet, but it was something he wanted almost as
much as he wanted to go back and change what had happened to his
father.
Troy, tell me what s wrong. Josie put a gentle hand on his arm
and waited.
There s nothing wrong. He patted Josie s hand and gently
removed it from his arm before heading for his room. He hoped she
took his cue and didn t follow.
When he made it to his room unharassed, Troy closed and locked
the door, just to be on the safe side. Fully dressed, he collapsed on the
bed and unwillingly revisited his discussion with Josie.
There was nothing wrong at all except that he was having second
thoughts about his life and his place in the world.
For most of his existence since his parents deaths, all he d
wanted was a place to belong, a place where no one judged him or
Three Men and a Bounty 75
looked at him as if he were a menace or a pervert. He d thought he
found this at Wolf Creek, but now he wondered.
What would happen to everything he d built if he got involved
with Chris or James or both? And who was to say that either man
would willingly risk their own standing to be with him? Would either
of them think the risk they took to be with each other worth the same
risk it took to be with him?
He supposed he wouldn t know anything unless he outright asked
them. The worse that could happen was either man would say no.
What if they didn t? Could he be with them without being honest
about his beast? Would his beast allow him to have a normal
relationship without letting its existence be known?
It hadn t so far, but then he had never been involved with anyone
beyond the time it took him to find his release. He had never been in a
relationship beyond the superficial. He had never found anyone that
made him think about forever. The thought of revealing himself to
two men he wasn t about to kill, but two men that he wanted to make
love to instead, sent a shiver of pure terror through him that he had
never imagined before.
He d thought he d experienced the most paralyzing fear of his life
when he d had to confront Jack with his desire to leave the gang more
than a decade ago. He d done everything he could not to reveal his
animal. Jack, however, had forced his hand. To this day, he
remembered the look of shock on the older man s face, the look of
horror when Troy had finally shifted and stood before Jack, growling
and baring his long canines. Jack let him leave. He d had no choice,
but he hadn t allowed Troy s defection without a fight. Troy bore the
bullet wounds to prove it.
He d licked his injuries, literally, and survived to see another day.
He d moved on.
Had he not been so eager to bury his past and forget the old miner,
Josiah Maynard, he never would have fallen in with the Baird gang.
Troy had been blinded by pain and the loss of what could have been.
76 Gigi Moore
And Jack had come along at just the right time, preying on Troy s
loneliness and pain like the predator he was.
Troy understood all that now, but back then, no one could tell him
that Jack didn t like him just for him, that Jack had less-than-
honorable intentions.
He didn t want to be that man to Chris and knew that if he forced
himself into the middle of what was going on with the kid and the
marshal, he could be seen as the bad guy.
Normally, Troy would have gone out for a run, let his wolf out to
take off the edge, but he d already done that and it hadn t helped. It
had only made things worse.
He needed to be patient and bide his time.
They would come to him.
The wolf inside felt it, and the wolf had never led him astray when
he bothered to listen.
* * * *
The boy jerked awake in his arms, screaming about a wolf coming
to get him.
James clamped a hand over Chris mouth as gently as possible and
whispered soothingly in his ear. He brushed a loose tendril of hair [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]